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puppy attack (grr), black & white scale (Chubb of Doom), pee wee (holy crap!), o rlmente, napoleon dynamite (jack-o-lantern), napoleon dance (celebrate), napoleon FFA (duh), the motherland (view), oklahoma keychain, bigboy, woolf (writing), days of our lives (drama), work (emergency), pedro (hot & hair troubled), i feel pretty, yummm... (hungry), Triumph type (writing), winter tree, heh. you said 'anus.', napoleon (time machine), route 66 (road trip), bare feet me, grandma (you gotta be kidding me), kip (kicking ass), black bikini (skinny), sad me, booger!, greyscale me, S&tC (Carrie drunk), chester (beady eyes)
"Helloo?" mom answers the telephone, her voice full of sleep.
"Hi, mom. I just got your message from last night. Everything okay?" I ask, a little concerned by the tone of her voice in the message.
"Oh!," she says, suddenly wide awake. "I was just calling to tell you that I'm a movie star."

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