you know what kind of people i don't like? well, i'm sure there are lots, but 2 come to mind right now:

1) people who are too lazy to return shopping carts to the cart returns conveniently located in every row of every parking lot of every grocery store on the planet. i mean, seriously. it's not like the rain or the heat is going to kill you. so, walk the extra 5 feet and put the damn cart between the two metal bars or, if the cart return is completely full, at least put it in the general vicinity of said return. be sure that, if you refuse to do this and i see you leave a cart anywhere other than a cart return, you will receive, at the very least, a honk of my horn and a dirty look. but if you happen to catch me on a good day and/or with my window rolled down, i will verbally abuse you in the parking lot of your local grocery store for being a lazy sack of shit.

2) people who pick their noses in the car as if no one can see them. that really bugs the crap out of me. i mean, we've all had moments where we've needed to blow our noses in the car. i have no problems with that. if you don't have a napkin handy with which to blow, then pick the bat out of the cave as discreetly as possible. do not dig, dig, and dig some more, look in the rearview mirror every time you do so to check to see if you got it. do not act as if this is the most normal thing for anyone to do in the car. because, frankly, it's gross and offensive, not to mention dangerous. it causes you to not pay attention to the road in front of you, and there's someone like me, screaming at you in her Honda, "get your fucking finger out of your fucking nose and fucking drive, you fucking asshat! this is neither the time nor the place!"

of course, there is a special subset of people in category (2) who automatically deserve to be punched in the face. it's so gross i don't even want to document it, but it's even more disturbing that i've witnessed it enough to feel compelled to do so: people who can't stop at just picking a booger, but who feel the need to eat it. we're talking full-on adults eating nose boogies.

i am not even joking.

the first time i ever saw an adult eat a booger in a car was in Memphis, TN, while my mom, brother, and mom's husband #2 were on family vacation. we were driving next to a woman who was digging away in her nose. we were staring at her with awe and disgust. and then, my brother and i, ignoring my mom's request not to stare, saw her eat a booger. we screamed. mom looked. and then the lady did it again, as if she knew that my mom needed confirmation, that we weren't just making it up. we were all so grossed out, but laughing at the same time...mostly because my family has this weird, twisted, sick, collective sense of humor. and then, of course, we had to talk about it...

"why? why would she do that?"
"maybe she was hungry."
"gross, Dale."
"if you're hungry, you eat KFC, not boogers."
"ymm...finger lickin' good."

needless to say, i can easily count on one hand the number of times i've eaten at KFC since that family vacation 16 years ago.