Just thought I'd give everyone on LJ an update on my medical situation. This is the same as the email update I just sent, if you happened to be on the list.

So, after last Saturday's trip to the emergency room where I found out I was the proud new owner of a couple of size-able gallstones, I was given some painkillers and a referral to a nice surgeon by the name of Dr. Griffith. I had an appointment with the good doctor yesterday, and he recommended taking not only the gallstones out, but taking the whole gallbladder, and doing it sooner rather than later, even though it isn't an emergency. I went ahead and scheduled the surgery for next week and took care of all of the pre-op paperwork while we were in his office.

So, I am getting my gallbladder and it's contents removed on Thursday, June 29, 2006 at 2:20 in the afternoon. I have to report to the Barrett Center at Cobb Hospital (WellStar Cobb Hospital, Austell Rd in Austell, GA) at 12:20 p.m. How exciting! My first ever surgery! It's like "My Little Ponies," only for grown ups!

In the meantime, I'm stuck at home because I can't drive on the painkillers, and unable to do much work (because sitting up for too long hurts, and because I can't focus on anything for more than 5 minutes without falling asleep). Did I mention that I'm glad I have the painkillers? I don't know what I'd do if I didn't. I'd probably have to do some work, and we all know that's no fun for me, with or without medication.

Also, Ben is taking really good care of me, for all of you who have been wondering. You haven't heard an update from me because I haven't been able to sit at the computer to type one, not because he's being a Caregiving Nazi. He's been wonderful, even more so than usual, and he won't let me lift anything heavy, like groceries or laundry. He's the best. Aren't we glad he found me?

Anyhoo, I'll be at home, drugged and sore for the next week or so. And then for another week or so after that. But after THAT week, watch out! I just might make it to the gym again before our wedding (I never thought I'd sincerely miss going to the gym, but I really, really do).

Thanks for all of your well-wishes, cards, and prayers, not to mention your offers to come over with food! You know how we love The Food. Anyhoo, you're more than welcome to come over to visit (and point and laugh and take pictures of me looking FABULOUSLY post-operational) anytime, regardless of whether you bring food with you; just be warned that our place will probably look like a dump.

If you need directions, or anything really, please call or email. Also, if you know me and haven't given me your address yet, please do so before Kit starts nagging me again (this means you, Toni & Allen, Erin, etc.)


p.s. after 5 days in agonizing limbo, I finally POOPED yesterday!! HOORAY!!!

gallstones, gallstones are no fun.
gallstones, gallstones, they hurt everyone.

well, not everyone, but it sure as hell felt like it yesterday.

after waking up at 3:00 a.m. in severe pain, and only going to the emergency room after Ben, my mom, and a nurse from Humana's nurse's hotline told me to (12:30 p.m.), i got some kickass painkillers and an ultrasound of my gallbladder. turns out, i have some gallstones. and yes, the doctor confirmed that i am relatively young to have them. he also said that they could either remove the stones, or remove the gallbladder. but, i will leave that decision up to the surgeon, who i have to call tomorrow to make an appointment for a consultation and surgery. in the meantime, it's more painkillers and lots of sleep for maggie. :/

on the upside, i've lost 3 pounds since yesterday morning. so, i guess that's something.

baaaaaaaaaah.

dislocating a knee sucks.
dislocating a knee while drunk at a kickass party sucks even more.

but i think what sucks even more than that is trying to walk or stand with said knee, swollen to 5 times its normal size, the morning after said kickass party and not being hungover at all. i mean, if i feel like ass or hurt in any way, i want it to be because i drank myself into a stupor, not because my knee decided that 1:00 a.m., when i'm having a wonderful time, was a good time to dislodge for the first time in...a couple of years.

so, that said, i doubt we'll be making it to Dunwoody today. :/ sorry guys. i was really looking forward to it, but the whole 'not being able to walk or sit or stand' thing might get in the way...

edit: in case i forgot to mention it, because it has been brought to my attention that i did, ben won the drinking contest when i forfeited due to falling over and dislocating my knee (though in reverse order). i think serious bodily injury is an automatic forfeit in cases such as that. so, official score:

ben: 2
maggie: 2

anyhoo, as winner, he won the prize of all prizes: ownership rights to "our" iPod which he bought. that lucky, lucky bastard. had i not fallen over, i totally would have caught up and beat him.

...yeah. probably not.

after a much needed trip to the motherland, i am home feeling oddly rushed and refreshed, relaxed and stressed. after very nearly missing my connecting flight in dallas, i spent some quality time with some family and friends, which included eating, eating, eating, and more eating, laughing, talking, watching movies that made me cry, playing with the cutest kids EVAR, getting drunk in a church, going to the new indian "casino" (which is really just a huge room full of slot machines), realizing that, of every member of my family, i have the worst luck by far (which comes into play later), etc. wrote some, read some...all in all, i wasn't really ready to leave, and coming home felt more like i was getting farther and farther away from it...which is, i suppose, why i opted to stay an extra day (and subconsciously tried to miss yet another connecting flight in dallas).

anyway, after getting back to my house to find it and my dog in excellent shape, i thanked my housesittAR of "Crazy Sock Man" fame with a sushi dinner in hiram. he repaid me by breaking my computer and then, after i called and asked him nicely, agreeing to fix it the next day, which was the whirlwind of yesterday. so, yesterday, i woke up early, went into the office to meet with my boss, did some work-related work, and then headed to the dunwoodys with my crappy computer in toe tow in the afternoon. after chatting with kim for a while and taunting kitty with my shoe, jim and i headed to some warehouse of computer parts where i bought a new 80-gig hard drive that, hopefully, won't fail me anytime soon, and a brand new keyboard with working 'e' and 'o' keys for the low, low combined price of $75.00 or so. took it back to the gang's place, jim tried to make it work, and then realized that, despite failure being inevitable with my donated hard drive (the class-action-lawsuity one; the IBM "Deathstar" Deskstar) at some point in the future, it wasn't my donated hard drive that had been failing at all. it was my stinking CPU fan. so, after much toil (and fear that we had damaged my motherboard beyond all repair with scrapes from a screwdriver or two when we were trying to remove the failing CPU fan), jim got my new hard drive installed and everything working again with the aid of a shiny, almost brand new CPU fan which happened to be sitting in a box in the floor, attached to his old, lightning-fried motherboard.

( read on, sister, read on... )


From: Maggie
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 11:11 PM
To: "Ms. Bossface"
Subject: on computer woes and toes...

Well...the good news is, my computer is fixed. The bad news is that, while it was in the process of being fixed, the computer case was stealthily placed in the floor, just waiting for me to run by and gash myself on its razor-sharp corner, thus requiring a "quick" trip to the emergency room and 7 stitches. Just thought I'd let you know that I won't be in the office tomorrow as planned, as I have been instructed to stay off of my left foot for 24 hours (I didn't ask how I was supposed to do that without staying off of my right foot, too) and keep it elevated "above my head." So, instead of picturing me lying on the couch with my foot propped up on five pillows, picture me hopping around on my right leg as a means of mobility while I attempt to hold my left leg upright and above my head for 24 hours straight while simultaneously doing very normal things like cooking breakfast...the latter is much more entertaining. Also, my foot won't fit in any normal shoes, so I will be wearing flip-flops until my toe no longer requires to be wrapped in five pounds of gauze and medical tape. I hope that my blatant violation of the company's policy on appropriate business casual attire for the summer will be overlooked (at least until the stitches come out). :) Yes, if there ever was a klutz in the world, I am she and she is me...

M.
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From: "Ms. Bossface"
Sent: Thu 8/5/2004 9:24 AM
To: Mills, Maggie
Subject: RE: on computer woes and toes...

Oh my gosh! I'm trying really hard to show sympathy, but all I can picture is the image you have so deftly captured in prose...and well, it's just plain hilarious, so I'm sitting here laughing and contemplating sending this to my friends and relatives for their daily dose of amusement. I'll try and refrain myself...and I'll try to regain my composure and adopt an appropriate facial expression when anyone asks of your whereabouts.

I really am sorry . . . ;-)
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From: Maggie
Sent: Thu 8/5/2004 9:53 AM
To: "Ms. Bossface"
Subject: RE: on computer woes and toes...

Oh, feel free to pass it along to anyone for amusement, because it really is pretty funny. I had to stop myself laughing (and demonstrating) in the emergency room when the nurse was giving me, the girl standing in the blue paper booties, all of those ridiculous directions. I'm sure she wouldn't have thought her word choice nearly as funny as I did. Plus, I figure that karmic retribution was to blame for it happening in the first place (I was chasing one of my friends through the room like a 7-year-old), so allowing friends, peers, coworkers, and complete strangers to laugh at my expense could only stockpile good karma for future unfortunate incidents, which I am prone to experience due to my inability to see objects, blunt or sharp, before I ram myself into them. :)